fter a brief stint in Fire and Ice, an English language Menudo cover band, the three founding members of The Radio Queens (Dr. Strangelove, Mr. Blonde and The Chairman) found themselves replaced by management for “younger, faster” versions of themselves. Having grown accustomed to the limelight and longing once again for the stardom that comes from performing in malls, the three self-proclaimed “Modern Day Merry-Andrews” decided it was time to start working on a comeback.

acking the time or talent required to write new songs, the three decided it would be easier and quicker to find an obscure band and steal their material. After spending what felt like months (about an hour and a half) finding the right band to pilfer material from, they finally settled on a barbershop quartet from Poland known as The Foiled Cucumbers. Calling in favors from the highest echelons of the U.S. government, The Radio Queens finally succeeded in having the Cucumbers deported and pirating their wealth of musical material. The Queens began playing the Cucumber’s material in front of stunned hotel restaurant audiences while the Cucumbers went back to playing dives on the Polish kielbasa circuit.

fter a lengthy Senate investigation, The Radio Queens were finally acquitted of any wrongdoing and have since embarked on worldwide musical domination. They live by only three rules: “Practice is for the weak”, “We are not a trio” (despite having only three members), and finally, no matter what happens… ”Never perform in Poland.”